There are a few common myths about marriage that lead to distress and disconnection between couples. These myths are mostly the result of unrealistic expectations that are being promoted in movies or social media. Some of these misconceptions about marriages even come from family members or people close to you.
The first myth is that as a couple you complete one another. The truth is that you are complete and whole as a human being and having a partner does not complete you because you are missing nothing. There is a difference between the idea of completing one another and complementing one another. In a healthy marriage, you can complement one another, not complete one another. For example, if you are someone who is very logical, and your partner is very emotional then at times when you need to handle finances then you can step in to complement your partner in that area.
The second myth is that if your partner truly loves you then they should know your feelings, needs, and expectations without you having to express them. This is a misconception that if you have to talk and ask your partner for something then that is not meaningful especially if your partner has been with you for a while and should know. The truth is your partner is human and has limited capabilities and was not created with an option of mind reading. It is very hard for you or your partner to keep guessing what each of you feels or wants. Miscommunication only leads to misunderstanding, frustration, and resentment between couples. It is important that you always communicate clearly to your partner what you long for, fear or feel. So, for example, if you are stressed out from work and come home looking miserable without saying a word to your partner it doesn’t make sense to expect your partner to know what is going on with you and comfort or soothe you.
The third myth is that there should be no boundaries between a couple in a relationship. This concept of not having boundaries with your partner usually leads to one partner being abused, overwhelmed, and exerting more effort in the relationship than the other. This also leads to emotions of resentment, burnout, anger, sadness, and loneliness. An example of no boundaries that lead to conflict is a wife who complains that she has taken the role of husband and wife from the very beginning of the marriage and pays for everything, does the home chores, and raises the kids alone. In a healthy marriage, partners have boundaries to protect themselves and maintain respect and mutual responsibility in the relationship.
The fourth myth is that you have to have common interests together and that having differences will ruin your marriage. You do not have to like the same things or enjoy the same activities to be happily married. Instead, it is the way you respond to those differences that is important. You don’t have to agree with everything your partner says or does, but it is crucial to interact in a positive manner despite your differences. So, for example, it is not beneficial for you as a couple to agree on the love of traveling but the way you interact together is based on criticism and defensiveness.
The fifth myth is that as a couple you must have children and it is the kids that bring you closer together. Going along with the traditional path that kids are the reason that couples can be more connected, and intimate is not necessarily true. On the contrary, some couples end up more distant and distressed because of their disagreement on parenting their kids. Couples could also find themselves fighting more because of the pressure of being a mum and dad.
One last myth is that couples therapy is for broken marriages. As a couple’s therapist and marriage counselor I assure you that seeking couples therapy when conflict is minimal could actually be more beneficial to the marriage. Couple’s counseling helps couples learn how to communicate effectively and develop conflict-management tools to maintain the relationship.
Do Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy Now
If you would like to create a stronger connection with your partner, then now is the time to be proactive and get engaged in couples counseling and couples’ therapy. Marriage and family therapy help you strengthen your relationship and become better partners and parents for your children. It is important to understand that involving an experienced, caring and non-judgmental couples’ therapist can make a huge difference. As a Marriage and Family Therapist based in Dubai, I work with couples from all over the world to overcome the challenges they face in their relationship. Marriage counseling in Dubai and Couples therapy in Dubai are extremely effective. So, if you are searching for a professional and a highly qualified marriage counselor and couple’s therapist that is an ICEEFT certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist (EFT) in Dubai, to help you get through your difficult times, please reach out to me. I meet my clients face to face in my office in Dubai or do marriage and family counseling online via zoom. So if you are anywhere in the world and feel like speaking to a Family and Couples Counselor and doing couples therapy at the convenience of your home please contact me at ds@www.daliasheiha.com or WhatsApp me on 00971502369395.